Not Even Real Science
by The Clerik
Summary: GLaDOS denies that her humanoid roots would lead to sexual arousal. Chell disagrees. Strenuously.


"So- wait, if you're human, do you ever get turned on?"

GLaDOS bristled and snapped back, "I am _not _human." Chell's eyes wandered up the sleek and shapely new chassis of the machine.

"_Oh yeah, that is totally not a human body at all." _she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

Chell pulled herself off the office chair that GLaDOS had appropriated from one of the old offices, and stretched with a yawn. She walked across the massive Central AI Chamber (or, as she called it, Circley Room With Frightening Panels), with her long-fall boots accentuating each step with a quiet clank.

GLaDOS stood in front a wide array of screens, with her hips cocked to the side as she concentrated. Shortly after the Moron Incident, GLaDOS had decided that she rather liked the idea of not being tied to a ceiling. Despite the low sensors of that potato she was stuck in, she still relished the feeling of flying through the air with Chell at her side. Not that she'd ever tell Chell that, of course. An AI must have _some _secrets.

So, after a period of extensive study of the human form, GLaDOS took to recreating a humanoid body of her own. A synthetic weave for the hair, bio-organic mesh for the skin, a complete recreation of a human nervous system, even complete with a modulated cardio-vascular system for transportation of a nano-based hydraulic replicate, all to complete a body that GLaDOS felt happy with. She even went to the trouble of asking some of the less high brow personality cores for aesthetic, and hell, she even asked _Chell._

So. Body. Completely white hair, yellow eyes that seemed to gleam, inhumanly pale skin, a skin tight jumpsuit to keep that "modesty" that Chell seemed to be so excited with, and the physical capabilities to shatter steel with her fists. Not that she ever expected it to come up, but what's the point of building a robotic chassis that _can't _do that? She was still in complete control of Aperture, of course, she was simply less restrained. Hypothetically, she still refused to leave the harness she had rigged up in the AI Chamber. There really wasn't any point _to _leave, she told herself, the harness she braced on shoulder blades, with cords and sensors running in to the base of her neck, allowed her to feel and control all of Aperture. She could feel cubes and turrets tumbling through her vents, she could feel P-Body and Atlas hugging in her test chambers, she could feel Chell running her fingers across her neck _wait what._

"_W- _what are you doing?!" snapped GLaDOS, smacking her fingers away. "If you're _bored, _feel free to go stick your head in the incinerator. No, really, go ahead, I won't stop you."

"I mean, I know you're not a human," Chell continued as though GLaDOS hadn't said anything. "But you still have Caroline kicking around in there, right?"

GLaDOS refused to look away from her all-important screens. "I told you, I deleted that pointless-"

"Oh yeah, totally, you _absolutely _deleted a core part of your personality. That explains why you haven't tried to kill me since I came back, right?"

GLaDOS shot Chell a death stare. "I think I preferred when you were mute."

Chell smiled sweetly.

Despite living at the Enrichment Centre for several weeks, Chell was still wearing her old test subject jumpsuit, with the top half around her waist and her tank top. Of course, she sent it through the Aperture Science High Speed Wash Cycle about a dozen times. Say what you want about personality cores, but they run a damn fine laundromat.

"Soooo," Chell leaned against the side of the multitudes of screens, still grinning. "If you have a human brain somewhere in there, wouldn't you have all the peripherals? Like sexual desire? Do you ever have to deal with it?"

GLaDOS curled her lip in to a snarl. "Of course not! Human sexual behaviour is almost deliberately unscientific. Honestly, it's almost sad."

"Actually, the study of human sexuality in terms of both psychological and physical interaction has been a major part of scientific study for thousands of years. Thomas Aquinas, for instance-"

"W- where are you even _getting _this information?!" sputtered GLaDOS indignantly.

"I... may have gotten bored and thumbed through those scientific textbooks you lent me." admitted Chell shyly.

"Well, goody for you. You can _read_." GLaDOS picked up Chell, and without turning away from her screens, tossed her three feet back. "Feel free to do more of that, or exploring more of whatever you even have that's reminiscent of sexuality, far, far away from here, because _I actually have work to do."_

Satisfied at her rebuttal, GLaDOS tried to put such... _strange _thoughts out of her mind and focus back on her facility. P-Body and Atlas were being reassembled for the 1042th time today, a personality core had gotten clogged in her vents, and-

GLaDOS let out a short gasp as she suddenly felt Chell's lips press against the side of her neck. They were soft and wet, and she could feel the pressure of need and _what the hell is going on?_

"What are you doing?!" GLaDOS stiffened as she felt Chell's tongue running up and down her neck.

"Mmm, don't let me bother you." Chell purred in to GLaDOS' ear. "Just... running some tests..."

GLaDOS felt something start to well up in that oh so special section of her brain that she tried to delete so many times. "You... are- _ah!_ You are _v-_ vastly annoying."

Chell didn't respond in so many words, but instead left bites and marks running down GLaDOS' neck. The sharp contrast between a hard bite and a soft kiss had GLaDOS stiffening and sucking air through the gaps in her teeth. She sunk her teeth in to GLaDOS' soft synthetic skin until the android almost screamed, and covered over the dark marks with kisses, almost as if she was marking her territory "A- um- _ah!_ That's... _mm!_ Are you _d-_ done yet?"

Chell pulled away, and GLaDOS tried ever so hard not to sigh in disappointment. "Hmm, it depends. Are you turned on yet?"

GLaDOS scoffed, and shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "What, from you?"

"Maybe." Chell smiled wickedly, and wrapped her arm around GLaDOS' waist to bring her closer. She almost gasped as she tried desperately to commit this to memory. The feel of Chell's body against her own, the gentle heaving of Chell's chest against her back, the curves and slopes, her hot breath against the base of her neck-

"Um. I don't mean to interrupt the moment, G, but your harness is kind of in the way." giggled Chell quietly as she pressed herself against GLaDOS even harder.

"Pssh, what moment?" GLaDOS snarked, but in the same breath, started pulling the harness off as fast as possible. Chell helped, and even pulled out the cords from the base of GLaDOS' neck.

"_**Mmmmm!" **_GLaDOS let out a full fledged moan and arched her chest forward with a staggered step. She stepped back, and almost subconsciously pressed herself until Chell's tight embrace, feeling the warmth and soft hills of Chell's delicate breasts against her.

"I'm... starting to get the vague feeling that the base of your neck is sensitive." Chell pressed a soft kiss against the computer ports.

"W- what would ever give you that impression?!" GLaDOS would be _loath _to admit how much she was liking this. Human sexuality was _stupid. _It's _not even real science._

Chell grabbed her shoulders and turned her around so the two could look eye to eye, and Chell's smile grew even wider. She could finally see GLaDOS' eyes, wide with lust, her neck covered in Chell's own personal signature, her chest heaving in and out with each breath of barely constrained lust, and even her heavy blush as she tried desperately to regain her composure.

"Huh. So you _can _blush. Go figure."

GLaDOS glared in confusion. "You... are utterly insane."

With a single step, Chell threw herself in to GLaDOS' arms, wrapping her own arms around the shapely android. And naturally, gripping her ass with fervour, because it just makes such a convenient space for grabbing. Their mouths met, and Chell had to start and marvel at the synthetic tongue dancing around her mouth. It wasn't cold, not exactly, it was just... Aperture.

She run her tongue over GLaDOS', listening for the soft moan and restrained fondling whenever she found the mark. It was almost as if she didn't know where her hands should go, and they wandered up Chell's body as though she was trying to commit it to memory, before finally settling on examining Chell's breasts. She could feel her lust, clear and evident, heavy and full, and Chell let out a small moan to let her know that that is just perfect.

Suddenly, Chell broke it off.

"W- what? Did I... do something wrong?"

GLaDOS sounded so... innocent, Chell wanted to scoop her up in her arms all over again.

"No, I just realized... I'm your first kiss, aren't I?"

GLaDOS stopped, thought about it, and flashed a shakey smile. "I... guess you are."

Chell giggled to herself and gave GLaDOS another quick kiss on the lips. "You really should just stop being so cute. It's dreadfully unfair to everyone else."

"Oh, _shut up." _


End file.
